Shock, profound sadness and grief

A wonderful life has ended all too soon. In the early morning hours of June 14th, 2009, our son Tom took his life. The reasons and method are unimportant, for we only know that we have lost our only son. I feel that a tribute to Tom belongs on the slutigram site. A great void is left in our hearts and the hearts of Tom’s many relatives and friends.

Military honors were given to Tom at his funeral at St. James Catholic Church in Kearney Nebraska on Friday, June 19th.



Tom’s life began in 1981 in South Dakota, where he resided until we moved to New Zealand in 1987. It was fitting that we buried most of his ashes at St. Peter’s Catholic Cemetery in Colman, SD, where his maternal grandparents and beloved Uncle Tom are also interred.







A plaque honoring his service to his country in the U.S. Air Force is placed over his ashes.



For the next 5 and a half years, Tom grew in New Zealand. His many friends told us that Tom spoke of the wonderful years in New Zealand. We have reserved some of his ashes to be cast on January 17th, 2010 to the winds at an overlook at beautiful beach that Tom especially liked.





From 1992 to 1999, Tom lived in Kearney, Nebraska. Elaine and I have put a vial of Tom’s ashes in the folds of the flag that was presented by the Air Force at his funeral. Tom will be with us as long as we both live.




From July 1999 to the end of Tom’s life, he lived in various places in the southern region of the USA, where we also left some of Tom’s ashes in Forsyth Park in Savannah, Georgia.



Anne has a vial of Tom’s ashes so that he will be with his sister.

Tom was no angel, and he gave us many a sleepless night over the years. Yet, he was blood of our blood and bones of our bones. The emotional bonds are strong between parent and child. So, we grieve and miss our son.

What kind of man did Tom grow up to be? While in Savannah, a group of friends organized a get together at a local motorcycle club known as “The Wingmen.” Most of its members are former military special forces soldiers. A great many friends came to meet us, honor Tom and tell us many stories. Each talked about how generous he was. Tom would lend money to all who were in need. He never hounded people to repay, but nearly all did repay. All spoke of the great number of friends Tom had from all walks of life. From the squeaky clean to the tattooed and pierced – guys and gals, Tom was a friend to all. Many spoke of Tom’s fun loving unpredictable nature – you never knew what he was going to do. One friend, Gil, runs a local Bingo Hall. He told us that most of the behavioral rules they had to implement were because of things Tom would do in fun. Like the felt-daubers for Bingo were to be used only for marking Bingo papers, rather than ones own face or the faces of fellow players. Many said Tom was one of the smartest people that they had ever met. His workmates (the whole crew that worked with him came to this gathering) told us how Tom would complete the NY Time crossword puzzle in ten minutes. He may have been a genius, but we will never know what he could have done with his talents. One of his housemates, Tim, spoke of how he had met at least 50 new friends through Tom. Tom never forgot a name and could be in a room of dozens of people and remember all of their names, even if he had met them only once. Tom loved his bicycle and took his riding to the edge of the envelope. He would often tell us of the various accidents he had had while doing some dare-devil stunt on his bike. Every person we spoke to were totally surprised that Tom was gone. Many cried with us that night.



Tom, you leave us grieving. We all miss you. We cannot forget your time with us. It was too short. Tom, I pray that you are at peace, and I hope and pray that one day far in the future, I will see you in the afterlife.

Love,

Your Dad.